Updated: Oct 14, 2019
There aren't many things that bring me more joy than a horror movie and a hot drink on a cool autumn night.
That said, a little queer subtext (or just regular text, as the case may be) always sweetens the deal. To that end, I've ranked 15 popular horror movies, listed from least to most aggressively homosexual. Take a little journey with me, won't you?
Psst: yes, I know I did not include every horror movie on this list. I have deliberately omitted many well-known/significant horror films with overtly transphobic plots or villains. Please do not @ me to ask why I didn’t include this movie or that one. Please DO @ me if you have any opinions about how gay a particular horror movie is.
15. THE SHINING
Between Jack Torrance's visions of naked ghosts, his single-minded lack of compassion for his family, and director Stanley Kubrick's whole, uh, vibe, this movie is the straightest horror movie I could think of. What’s more heterosexual than a man ignoring someone's advice and being shitty to his wife for three hours?
14. THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE
Not gay. Brutal, unrelenting, and essential for horror fans, though.
13. FRIDAY THE 13th
Not gay, though the use of the classic “if you have sex, you are now impure and deserve to die” trope might warrant mentioning. Honestly not my favorite of the Classic 80s Slashers, but worth mentioning because of its ubiquity.
12. GET OUT
Not gay, but this movie slaps.
This movie is not gay, but in my dreams, Janelle Monae gets cast in the reboot as the eponymous Candyman.
10. THE EXORCIST
One could make the case that Regan’s possession is a metaphor for her budding sexuality and its corrupting influence. One could, but I won’t.
9. THE BABADOOK
I know, but I refuse to shift my ranking of this movie based on the memes, do not @ me! This movie is really not that gay! We do not stan this physical manifestation of abuse and trauma!
8. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
This one’s kind of a classic Final Girl situation; generally pretty heterosexual, but gets bonus gay points for 1) my teen crush on young Heather Langencamp and 2) J*hnny Depp in a crop top.
7. THE VVITCH
Maybe about Thomasin’s emerging sexuality being the corrupting force that tears her family apart; maybe just about how much it sucked to live on a farm in colonial New England.
I could make a case for this one being gay, but it might be based largely on my long-standing crush on Sigourney Weaver. Regardless, the themes of trauma and assault might feel applicable to a good deal of queer stories, and also, Sigourney Weaver wears a jumpsuit.
Does this one count? Probably not, but I’m a sucker for a cannibalism story. Literally, about a young woman in vet school trying not to eat her friends; thematically, about coming of age and coming to terms with taboo desires. So, low-key gay?
4. LOST BOYS
Hot take alert: vampire movies are all inherently at least a little gay due to the thematic associations with lust, forbidden desire, and sexuality. Though not explicitly a Gay Movie, this one warrants a top spot on my list for the sheer number of crop tops and mullets. Plus, Alex Winter from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is in it.
Legitimately a complex metaphor about being gay during the AIDS crisis. This movie is 94 extremely nasty minutes about having to resist the urge to bang every gay you meet.
2. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE
The director of this one denies intentionally gay themes. Deny all you want, my guy - a male gym teacher gets towel-spanked to death in this one, which swaps out the standard Final Girl for a Final Boy grappling with his identity and (implied) sexuality.
1. JENNIFER’S BODY
This movie a) fuckin’ rules and b) is actually canonically kinda gay. It was a close race between this and Nightmare on Elm Street 2, but this one got the #1 spot thanks to the actual kiss scene. I cannot express how much I wish Megan Fox had brought this palpable lesbian energy to the Transformers franchise. Thanks for nothing, Michael Bay.